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When I got pregnant with my twins, I had one mission: I was going to do motherhood the “right” way. I didn’t exactly know what that meant, but I had a picture in my mind: a blend of natural, wholesome, Pinterest-worthy parenting. And I went all in.
I breastfed. I made every ounce of their baby food from scratch. I concocted homemade baby wipes and mixed up my own diaper rash cream. I brewed kombucha and baked sourdough. I cultured yogurt. I even made my own makeup, shampoo, conditioner, and deodorant. My babies’ food never touched plastic. Everything had to be intentional. Pure. Perfect.
And I was miserable.
The Truth About Being a Struggling New Mom
This isn’t a judgment on those choices themselves. Some moms thrive making everything by hand, and that’s beautiful. But for me, it wasn’t about joy or creativity. It was about fear. I was afraid of failing them. Afraid of not being a good mom. Afraid of doing it “wrong.”
Looking back, I think I believed that if I could just control every little thing, I could somehow protect them from harm, sadness, sickness, from life itself. I thought maybe if I got it all right, then nothing would go wrong. But that mindset slowly chipped away at my mental and emotional health.
I wasn’t living. I was maintaining an illusion.
Letting Go of the Illusion of “Perfect”
The kombucha, the creams, the homemade baby wipes, they became my whole life. And my actual life? It felt like it was on pause. The joy of being present with my babies, the joy of simply being me, got buried under the weight of all the “right” things I was trying to do.
Eventually, I had to ask myself: What good is a homemade life if I’m not actually living it? During that time, I remember reading Mom Set Free — and it helped me finally let go of the guilt and pressure to “do it all.”
I started letting go. Not all at once. But piece by piece. And I began learning that balance doesn’t mean doing everything naturally or perfectly. It means doing what aligns with your values without losing yourself.
You Are Not Alone, Struggling New Mom
If you’re in that place right now, exhausted from trying to do it all, weighed down by a million “shoulds”, please hear this:
You don’t have to prove anything.
Your worth is not measured by how many things you make from scratch. You are allowed to enjoy the process, or outsource it. You are allowed to be a whole person and a good mom.
Motherhood doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.
And you don’t have to lose yourself to love your kids well.
You are already enough.
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